Setting the Tone-r for Christmas
Wham! Wham! Wham!
“Damn! Damn! Damn!”
Cough!
“How in the heck is this supposed to fit in there? I don’t DO stuff like this. There has to be someone else SOMEWHERE that knows how this thing works!”
“That knows how what works, Ja—?” Daniel had appeared at the door to the copier room. One look at Jack and the small room’s recent redecorating, compliments of Jack, and he was snickering, which quickly developed into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
Jack let him have his moment. That’s it. Get it out of the way, thought Jack, irritably. Then, when Jack felt a sufficient amount of time had past and Daniel still showed no sign of stopping, he became a bit more than just annoyed “Oh, ha-ha. Stow it and come and give me a hand. Please?”
“Uh, no.” Daniel answered wiping tears from his eyes. “In fact, I don’t want to be anywhere near you. You know the toner’s supposed to go in the copier, not on you.”
Jack was two seconds away from shoving what remained of the pouch in his hand into one very obnoxious mouth, currently spouting smart-ass comments his way. Momentarily savoring the image of force-feeding the toner package to an extremely unwilling Daniel, Jack wasn’t aware that he was squeezing the toner powder pouch.
“Aack!” Jack dropped the offending thing as blue powder flew out and instantly coated everything around it, including Jack, who had already done a pretty good job taking a blue powder shower before Daniel had shown up.
Daniel, however, had stepped way back just in time to avoid the explosion, then disappeared.
When the toner fog in the copier room started clearing, Jack saw a flash. “What was that?” He looked up and saw Daniel in the process of hiding a camera behind his back. “Daniel! What the hell? Give me that camera!” Jack took a step preparing to lunge for the camera. Instantly, blue powder went flying again.
Daniel backed up and held up a hand in front of him, the other hand holding the camera high above and behind him, safely out of Jack’s reach. “Wait Jack, don’t move! You’ll just get it everywhere. Everywhere else, that is.”
Jack looked at the re-disturbed powder flying around. “Dammit!” He looked back at Daniel, frowning. “I want that picture!”
“Oh, you’ll get it. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Huh?” Jack narrowed his eyes at Daniel wondering just what his so-called friend was up to. “Then why’d you take it in the first place?”
“You’ll see.” Daniel smirked as he darted out of Jack’s view.
“Daniel, get back here!”
Daniel’s head popped back into view, “Don’t worry, I’ll send help.” Sam should see this too. “You, stay put.”
Jack glared at the now empty doorway, counting ways to do away with one incredibly despicable archeologist, who kept insisting he was a friend. “Some friend you are!” Jack shouted to the recently emptied hallway.
As Jack sauntered into the cafeteria, his heart set on trying the apple-pumpkin pie Carter said was to die for, he couldn’t help but notice that all eyes seemed to be focused on him, along with a great deal of snickering. Not one for allowing that kind of thing—he was a Colonel after all—Jack looked toward the many sources of said-snickering, but they quickly ceased as his head turned their way.
A moment later, Daniel strolled into the cafeteria whistling, but stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Jack. Jack shot Daniel a look that, had his eyes been laser beams, a nice round hole would be smoldering in the middle of Daniel’s shock-paralyzed forehead right then. Daniel did a quick about-face, almost reaching a running pace by the time he exited the doors. Jack smirked. Good, to know you’ve still got it, O’Neill.
Then Jack heard a familiar chuckle behind him. He turned and spotted the General looking at something on the bulletin board. Hammond looked his way, then chuckled some more.
“Tha-aaat’s it.” Jack jumped up and headed toward the General. More than a few curious on-lookers cleared the way.
Hammond was just moving away from the bulletin board and toward the exit and Jack as Jack approached.
With a wide grin on his face, he patted Jack on the shoulder, and shook his head. “The things you and Daniel do to each other in the name of humor.” He just chuckled some more as he walked past and out the door.
Jack watched him leave perplexed and more than a little riled at what he might find on the bulletin board. He scanned the board, then spotted something with his name on it. He took a closer look, expecting the worse… or so he thought.
“What the—?” Jack’s mouth dropped open and his eyes filled with rage. “That little… Ohhh, he is so gonna pay for this one! Daniel, you better hide!”
The papers on the bulletin board billowed furiously in Jack’s wake as he stormed out of the cafeteria on a search and destroy mission leaving behind an uproar of laughter.
The papers on the bulletin board settled. Among the many papers, there was an invitation for a Christmas party, secret Santa flyers, opportunities for entering into different programs, public announcements, and one Christmas card.
The card said it was from Colonel O’Neill to the base. On it was a photo of Jack. He was covered from head to toe in blue toner dust. Below the photo it read,
I’ll Have A Blue Christmas Without You.
Best Wishes For A Safe, Festive, and Colorful Holiday!
Hopefully, Not All In Blue… Like Mine.
Yours Truly, The Colonel
The End
