The Well-Planned Escape?
“Daniel, you need to—”
“No!”
“Move!”
“Whoa, don’t push! Fine. This is crazy, but I’m moving. Jack, this is so wrong, you need to know—”
“Not now, Daniel, we are leaving. Now move.”
“Jack, you need to listen to me, I’ve—”
“Shhh, almost there.”
“This is… there? There where?”
“Away from THAT there. Look!”
“What where?”
“Down there.”
“Uh huh, what exactly down there should I be looking at?”
“That!”
“That looks like a receptacle of some sort with nasty looking, foul smelling—”
“Yes, and we can jump down from this ledge into it and then escape.”
“Escape, uh huh… Nope, I’m going back, Jack!”
“Da-aaniel, they’re trying to kill us!”
“No. You’re the only one convinced of that, oh fearless leader that pushed me out on this thing in the first place! I think they were just trying to feed us, but haven’t a clue what we would eat.”
“They want to kill us and WE ARE JUMPING!”
“Into a dumpster full of alien garbage? No, WE are so not! Now move! You’re in my way!”
“I AM also usually the one that keeps you from getting US in worse trouble so…”
“Jack, why are you looking at me like—”
“J-aaaaaaaaaack!”
“Geronimoooooo!”
“OOF!”
“OOF!”
“Ewwww!”
“Yuck, but better than that stuff they were trying to make us eat!”
“You pushed me, Jack… you actually did it. You damn, stubborn son-of-a-bitch, I can’t believe you pushed me, and what is that stuff on your back? Oh, God it smells like—”
“You’re alive because of me and you’re welcome, Daniel!”
“WELCOME?!?! Jack, I didn’t want to leave in the first place. In fact, I was preparing to talk our way out of eating that black gooey tar-like stuff they put in front of us and would have had I even a clue that you’re real reason for asking me to look out the window when they left us alone wasn’t to look at an odd flying creature but instead to push me out it! So now, thanks to you, I am covered with this putrid smelling stuff, there is a yellow pasty nasty smelling-something on my arm, and… and… [ulp] Jack, I swear there is something crawling up my leg… Augh! Get it off! Get it off!”
STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!
“It’s dead, Daniel, really, really dead… and now all over your boots.”
“Ugh! God, I’m gonna heave.”
“Now we can escape, find our gear, join up with Carter and Teal’c and get back to the gate. Okay, now we came from that direction and… Da-aaaniel, where do you think you’re going?”
“Back inside to find someone that will listen to me, get a shower, maybe some edible food.”
“No, we are leaving that way. Now!”
“Noooo, you wouldn’t listen to me earlier so now we are covered in… I don’t know what… and you’re still not listening to me.”
“What’s to know? This planet is filled with evil gooey alien sacks of… of goo that are hell bent on hurting us. We got dosed by something that knocked us out, then we woke while being brought here, our gear was gone, they’d put these sack-like things on us, stuck us in a small room, brought in a lot of evil-looking implements, no doubt designed to mangle and tear our skin off, not to mention all the rooms we were paraded passed with poor prisoners that were undergoing various kinds of torture in there. So when they tried to poison us, I decided it was high time to get us the heck outta there, Daniel, and now we are continuing our escape from this prison.”
“Hospital.”
“H-hos—what?”
“It’s a hospital, Jack! We just escaped from a hospital. You just pushed me off the ledge of a hospital. You and I are covered with gooey, sticky, stinky, hospital-related garbage, JACK!”
“A hospital? But what about… and there were all those… then they brought in…”
“They were trying to help us, Jack! No wonder you freaked, you HATE hospital food! Now move! I’m going back in there to apologize for us, get a shower for me and… to see if there is space in their mental ward available for you!”
The End
