In Desperate Need of Supplies
“Yes, Mr. President, it is a lot to ask for in one request.”
Hammond straightened out his clothing as he sat down, eyeing his door to make sure it was locked. It was turning out to be a very long debriefing over the red phone.
“No sir, I assure you it is not a joke.”
“It is enough uniforms to supply for all the base personnel because that is exactly what it’s needed for.”
“It began when there was a mishap with a returning team, um, yes, sir, it was SG-1.”
“No sooner had they begun to walk down the base ramp then their uniforms began to dissolve. The gate room was locked down, but the threat spread immediately to the soldiers in the gate room. It seemed to thrive on cotton but also favored polyester and nylon, although it ate those a bit slower.”
“Sir?”
“As it turned out it was a bug, a very microscopic bug that apparently has a veracious natural predator on its planet, but a mess of them hitchhiked on SG-1 when they returned. Due to their very small size, the closed blast door was no match for them. It soon spread throughout the base. It was a bit of turmoil as you might guess.”
“Yes sir, that is the reason we locked down the base, but the threat has now been neutralized. It’s apparently a short-lived organism that did its damage and died away.”
“Riot? Oh. You heard about that did you?”
“Well, sir, it wasn’t actually a riot. It turned out that the organism did not eat certain materials, silk being one of them. Well, while SG1 was in the infirmary, things around them also began to be eaten away. Bed linens, scrubs, nurse uniforms, and underclothing, except those wearing silk.”
“It was during that time that SG-1, specifically Dr. Jackson, realized that some of the ancient papyrus scrolls in the archives could be threatened. Despite his quickly dissolving uniform, Dr. Jackson shot out of the infirmary to save the scrolls. Colonel O’Neill was quickly on his tail, and apparently several nurses and other um, female base personnel followed right after them.”
“The uh, riot was more a stalking, sir, and… well let’s just say that while Daniel Jackson was holding the papyrus scrolls high over his head to keep them away from the bugs, his clothes did a disappearing act, and whereas Colonel O’Neill happened to be wearing silk briefs, Dr. Jackson wasn’t.”
“Yes, sir, I agree he is a good-looking gentleman. No, sir, completely oblivious to the fact.”
“The result was, as Colonel O’Neill referred to it, ‘Dodge Daniel-Ball.’ When females tried to make contact with a clothes-less Dr. Jackson, Colonel O’Neill in silk briefs and Teal’c, donning a silk flag, kept them at bay until they could find something to put around Dr. Jackson.”
“Not long after that the bugs started to die off. The papyrus scrolls were spared, thank goodness. No sir, due to the extenuating circumstances, I’ve issued a base reprimand; however, no individual reprimands are in effect at this moment.”
“Excuse me, sir? Actually, I would rather like to keep my dignity and not tell you what I am wearing right now unless you make it an order.”
Hammond breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, sir, I appreciate that.”
“Two hours? I’ll let the base know when to expect the supplies.”
“Yes sir, it is a good thing you delayed your visit, but you are more than welcome to come and visit… AFTER the supplies arrive, that is.” General Hammond listened to the President chuckle through the phone as the conversation ended.
Once the phone was back on the hook, he got up as he’d had to do several times already to pull the frilly nurse’s extra large black silk dress slip out from between his butt cheeks while he eyed the door. Unless they were under attack, he had no intention of leaving his office until the shipment arrived with a new uniform for him.
The End
